Thursday, March 19, 2015

Birds are Entitled, Selfish Little Brats

Top 'o the morning to ya,

The last few days saw us cruising from hotspot to hotspot, trying to pick off a few more Florida specialities before we left. From shoreline, to grassland, to swamp, to pine forest, we've seen about all that South Florida has to offer. That is, at least in terms of ecosystems; we did not check out other such presumably fine and heavily advertised Florida locales as, "Crazy Horse" or "Cheetahs", although it sounds like there is some interesting wildlife there.

A common thread tying many of the Florida specialities with rare birds across the country is that many of them have declined precipitously in population over the not-too-distant past. For instance, the Red-Cockaded Woodpecker (which we saw!) is officially Endangered, having declined from more than 1 million nesting groups across the South to maybe 4,000.

Another example is the Florida Scrub-Jay, the only bird found exclusively in Florida. It has seen its population decline by as much as 90% in the past century, to just a few thousand nesting pairs. Thanks to eBird and some luck, we found this gorgeous bird in a residential neighborhood north of Fort Myers:



Why are these declines happening? Well, in reality, we have nobody to blame but the birds themselves.

Our Red-Cockaded Woodpecker, for example, prefers to live in old pine trees that have a specific disease, rendering the wood soft enough for them to peck out. Seriously, talk about a prima donna.

The Florida Scrub-Jay wants to live in open landscapes dominated by small oak trees, brush, and grasslands. The only way to get this kind of space in Florida is not to develop land, and then have wildfires burn through every few years to keep the growth down. Who really wants that? Even other birds hate the Florida Scrub-Jay for this.

The sub-species of Red Knot that travels through North America decided that they must breed in the Arctic and winter in Tierra del Fuego, so they regularly migrate thousands of miles per year. This crazy bird decided that caviar was a requirement for their journey, in the form of eggs from Horseshoe Crabs. As Horseshoe Crabs make great fertilizer and bait, that species has declined significantly along the Atlantic coast, putting the rufa variety that travels through North America at risk of extinction. They can't expect to live a jet-setting lifestyle of long-distance travel and caviar forever, right?

And, remember our friend the Key West Quail-Dove, who has practically been eliminated from the Keys because it was tame and tasty? That's obviously just a dumb choice on their part.

I could go on, but I won't. The bad decisions these birds make are just pathetic. They really just need to look themselves in a mirror and decide if this is how they want to live their lives. OK, I'm over it now.

Playing the Blame Game,
Me

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