A Conversation

Hey! Long time, no talk! How’s things?

Have a good weekend?

Boring? Too bad. Mine had its moments. What did you do?

You’re right, that does sound… slow. But, could have been worse, right? You could have, I dunno, been chased by a swarm of bees or something!

Well, let’s see… we flew to Dallas, and then drove 350 miles to find a bird.

Yeah, and it wasn’t even that that exotic of a bird. It’s called a Buff-breasted Sandpiper. It winters in South America and summers somewhere up on the Arctic Circle, so it’s only in the Lower 48 during migration and we missed it in spring. We had to go back and find it because of this silly Big Year thing.

The flight was fine, but so much sitting!

Well, let me tell you. So, it’s Sunday morning. After driving over three hours from our hotel in Waco—

Yes, *that* Waco. But it’s been several years, so I think all the furor has died down. Now, it’s all about Baylor football. But anyway, we get to the place where the bird had been reported just the day before. It’s this turf farm—

Right, where they grow lawns? Lawns just don’t grow on trees, you know?

Well, anyway, so we’re driving slowly down a dirt road through the middle of this turf farm, scanning left and right for a small shorebird in the grass—

Yes, in the grass! Not on the beach! I know I called it a Sandpiper, but they like picking bugs out of the short grass. I don’t get to pick their names, you know?

So, we’re driving slowly, getting out to scan with our scope, but nothing. I mean, there are lots of birds flying around, but not ours. And somebody saw 200 the day before!

Yeah, 200! At least, that’s what they put into eBird. So, we reach the end of the road, turn around, and are slowly driving back. No piper. And we’re starting to get a bad feeling about this—

I know, right? It would have *totally* sucked to go that far and not find it! OK, so we’re about half way back to the main road, hearts sunk, spirits low, when I see something suspicious.

No, not a badger, something that looks suspiciously like this bird. Sheesh. Anyway, we jump out of the car, set up the scope, and are trying to make out the markings on it. They’re kind of far away and the light is super-bright, so seeing colors is tough. But then—

I’m telling you, there was no badger! But, then the wife says, “Umm… we should get out of here.”

I don’t know why she said it. Well, I didn’t at the time, because I was looking into the scope, but then I look around, and she’s starting to back away, and I hear—

Damn it, no, I didn’t hear a badger! I don’t even know what a badger sounds like. Anyway, I hear buzzing.

Yes, buzzing. So I’m looking around, and then I see this giant cloud coming our way. It was bees!

Yeah, a whole giant freaking swarm of them! And we’re in the middle of a gi-normous lawn, with nowhere to hide.

Well, we did what any sane person would do, and we ran! Through the edge of the swarm! We only had to run maybe a hundred yards or so and then we were out, but it was freaky!

Seriously. You’re right, they probably were Killer Bees, or at least I’m saying they were! I beat Killer Bees!

It only took a couple minutes for the swarm to pass, then we ran back to the scope and tried to find the birds again.

For some reason, the swarm and our running didn’t seem to phase them, ‘cause they were right where we left them. I think they were even a bit closer. Maybe they wanted to see us get eaten?

Revenge for their brothers and sisters, the chickens? Anyway, we took like a bazillion pictures and studied them carefully, and yep, it turned out those were our birds! Success!

Thanks. Then, we literally had nothing to do. Our flight didn’t leave until today and rebooking was too expensive, so we stopped over at Austin for the night, had a good dinner and slept in.

Baltimore! I’m actually calling you from the Dallas airport right now, and we board soon.

Another stupid bird, of course.

It’s called a cuckoo, a Black-billed Cuckoo to be specific.

Maybe because it’s got a black bill? You’re impossible. I gotta run, flight’s about to board.

Later!